Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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