so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
a search helicopter?!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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