I heard we made out
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
