The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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