When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
