Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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