I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
