Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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