At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
