Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
