Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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