i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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