Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize