We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
