I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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