these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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