DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
