he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
