Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
