I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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