if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
