I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
