He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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