it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
