The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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