I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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