yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
