plz talk dirty to me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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