She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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