my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
