Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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