The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
