ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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