So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
