we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
