He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
