I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
everyone is single if you try hard enough
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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