At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
