We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
