No more Irish car bombs ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pants are for mortals
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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