I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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