she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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