he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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