I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
