To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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