yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
