i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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