Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish I could teleport
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
