Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.

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(818): View more from California

Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.

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(757): View more from Virginia

6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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(858): View more from California

the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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(224): View more from Illinois

hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.

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(607): View more from New York

I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno

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