Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She was lying the whole time!

  (310): View more from California

  She was a great actress

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was a great dumbass

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  (248): She was lying the whole time! (310): She was a great actress (248): I was a great dumbass http://tfl.nu/8lxg
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.

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  (480): ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can. http://tfl.nu/7kew
  Replies (5) Good night (2633) Bad night (669)
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  (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

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  (328): im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is? (1-328): anal. http://tfl.nu/bglg
  Replies (33) Good night (5874) Bad night (1522)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting

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  (405): Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting http://tfl.nu/elrq
  Replies (9) Good night (3517) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.

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  (303): I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number. http://tfl.nu/465z
  Replies (31) Good night (15774) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...

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  (574): You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/ux4f
  Replies (58) Good night (1605) Bad night (9769)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2442) Bad night (720)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.

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  (570): Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos. http://tfl.nu/kn72
  Replies (8) Good night (1942) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.

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  (806): Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone. http://tfl.nu/3odv
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

  (1+44): View more from

  I regret nothing

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  (+44): you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop. (1+44): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/8vxi
  Replies (3) Good night (2902) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots

  (1-707): View more from California

  You did like 8

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  (707): I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots (1-707): You did like 8 http://tfl.nu/2yf9
  Replies (6) Good night (2815) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

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  (828): you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1536) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.

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  (253): Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight. http://tfl.nu/dlgc
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.

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  (208): Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice. http://tfl.nu/e14u
  Replies (10) Good night (1162) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"

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  (407): I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse" http://tfl.nu/14wb
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (694)

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