Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.

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  (541): im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine. http://tfl.nu/y6yn
  Replies (10) Good night (4152) Bad night (742)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.

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  (403): Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius. http://tfl.nu/w17t
  Replies (20) Good night (6358) Bad night (760)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..

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  (843): He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex.. http://tfl.nu/g01t
  Replies (17) Good night (5184) Bad night (756)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.

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  (518): Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen. http://tfl.nu/qer2
  Replies (25) Good night (5157) Bad night (1027)
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  (209): View more from California

  She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.

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  (209): She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge. http://tfl.nu/14lm
  Replies (6) Good night (2994) Bad night (1100)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Walk of Shame today included voting.

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  (734): Walk of Shame today included voting. http://tfl.nu/glwh
  Replies (26) Good night (6239) Bad night (1040)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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  (205): btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever http://tfl.nu/nic9
  Replies (11) Good night (2496) Bad night (1828)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no

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  (765): I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no http://tfl.nu/iykq
  Replies (11) Good night (1973) Bad night (577)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now

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  (612): New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now http://tfl.nu/fnbr
  Replies (11) Good night (2074) Bad night (646)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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  (732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (369)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.

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  (817): Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult. (817): I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this. http://tfl.nu/zqxi
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (419)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

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  (920): We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started". http://tfl.nu/xqcg
  Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (377)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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  (585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue
  Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (289)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".

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  (608): That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years". http://tfl.nu/eq46
  Replies (8) Good night (310) Bad night (534)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.

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  (781): I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today. http://tfl.nu/uj8g
  Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (287)

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