You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
