He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
