Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
