Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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