The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
