Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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