It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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