Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
