The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
