nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
