If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
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Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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