Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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