So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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