So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will be naked everywhere
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I deserve this hangover.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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