I don't think brook has ever known best
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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